Confessions Of A Sleepless African Safari

The day turned out great after we spent our first day on Safari.  I was able to see The Big 5 after it was all over but there is one night that sticks out in my mind like it was yesterday.  It wasn’t when our car broke down and we arrived late or even when my bum was sore from the constant pounding from the ride to the Maasai Mara National Park.

Apparently Kenyans think that driving on the side of the road instead of fixing it is efficient.

We arrived at our camp site and I used my speed walking techniques to get into our tent to choose the best bed.  Speed walking, shoving, same thing.  I had the advantage of only having a back pack with me in comparison to the tourists that brought massive rolling luggage, what are carrying in there anyway?  Their kids?  I chose the bed closest to the electrical socket so I didn’t have to plug my vast array of not needed electronics in the kitchen.

A Cheetah that we found on my African Safari

After it was all over I was ready to get some sleep since we had to wake 5am the next day.  One thing I love about Kenya is the sun goes up at 6am and down at 6pm like clockwork! None of this time changing business.

After the power went out I was in my snuggle position and was ready for bed, you what snuggle position I’m talking about.  Don’t try to be all manly and pretend you don’t snuggle with the sheets when you go to bed.  11pm passed, then 12am, and finally 1am.  This wasn’t looking good.

Oh look at the full moon! How cool is that? I have a perfect view from the mosquito proof window. Ouch! Stupid mosquito, false alarm that was the edge of the bed that pinched.  Let me play Solitaire for a bit maybe that will make me sleepy.  As I turn on the cell phone I forgot to turn off the sound which leads to Daddy Yankee rapping in Spanish at full volume at 1.30am.

I drop the phone, Daddy Yankee continues, and I finally find the mute button.  I didn’t want to light up the tent with my flashlight so I decide to try and sleep.  Stupid moon, why does it have to shine in my face when I’m trying to sleep? And what is that light? The guy walking around outside flashing his flashlight in my face obviously has no manners.

I wonder what kind of animals we will see tomorrow?

I’m really excited to see the Cheetahs, hopefully they will come and site on the safari van like that picture I saw on the internet.  Dear Moon, go away seriously now I’m trying to sleep.  BZZZZZZD.  Text message at 3.00am, this obviously can’t be a booty call since I’m on safari, who is texting me at 3am? Should I A-read it, B-ignore it, C-read it then ignore it.  I chose D-keep playing solitaire.

Where did the moon go? This guy with the flashlight is seriously going to have problems if he flashes that light in my face again.  Dude! Again come one, that’s it I’m getting up to… oh, he is already walking away.  That’s right that’s what I thought!

This is how the night went as I tried to get some sleep.  The man was a security guard who walked around the premises and flashed his light in people’s faces that couldn’t sleep.  I wasn’t able to speak to the moon again.  Once 4am rolled around I decided it would be better to stay up than sleep!