Ohh Argentina…. Keep It In Your Pants

The Streets of Buenos Aires

This is my 2^nd story of my awkward situations in Argentina. If you would like to read more about these funny stories see the list at the end of the post. All of these stories seem to deal with Argentinians and their.. uhh.. manhood. The men of Buenos Aires are quite different in this respect, they seem to be a completely different breed. They are either not getting enough conversation for Mr. Wiggles or the rumors of Argentinian women are true (they are a hard to get). Either way, these are just off the wall things that happened to me that are absolutely hysterical.

Argentina at one point had an exceptional train system with no weirdos. What is left of the train station is a series of small connections of the most populated cities in the country, specifically the North East Region near Buenos Aires. I was interested in seeing El Tigre which is an incredible modern day wonder world that takes you deep inside a side of Argentina that they don’t show you on the brochures. I went to the train station to find out the details of the train departures.

I drink cafe con leches like Americans eat Mcdonalds. Cafe con leches (Latte) also make you use the bathroom more often since coffee is a diuretic. I made the mistake of walking into the restroom inside of the train station, I would have been better just going outside. When I entered I first noticed the lovely smell that you frequently have the pleasure of witnessing in every mens bathroom (you know what I’m talking about.. ladies you too).  The picture below is from a Museum in Cordoba, the train station was too busy to take a picture.

ATTENTION KIDS: Do not eat the Candy in the Urinals

The place was absolutely filthy with garbage and other goodies on the floor. Its funny because in Argentina picking a urinal is like finding a parking spot at a crowded mall. I found my lovely 10 second parking spot (I’m a light weight) and did what we all do when we start using the restroom, let out a nice big AHHHHHHHHHHH. You didn’t know we competed for the best awe in the mens bathroom? Women have their buddy system we have our AHHS.

That’s when he saw me. It was like cupid shot his arrow and I was his bathroom unicorn. After the gentlemen 3 urinals over respectfully declined his pot of gold he directly headed to me. He didn’t wash his hands by the way. He was walking awkwardly, the funny walk you can’t get right when you have your jeans at your ankles. His leg hair was also obviously out of breath since they were attacking his white speedos like 10 year old’s attack Justin Beiber. And his hand motion I can only describe as the video below, America is so politically correct, we call this “exercise” now.

I feel sorry for you if you don’t understand what I am talking about. I was very upset because this man ruined my AHHH. I had been practicing for so long and was ready for the big leagues at a public bathroom. My AHHH quickly turned into profanity in a language I don’t even understand. He walked directly in-between my urinal and the urinal next to me, the guy next to me immediately left. I was sad, he had a great AHHH. He started sweet talking me with deep breathes and awkward movements. No I don’t want to meet your Mr. Wiggles I said. Of course I said it in spanish, “Mister-O Wiggles-O.” He continued, I rushed, and my pants then looked like I stood in front of Niagara Falls. How could I possibly try to hit on a women now?

What I find hysterical is that these weird situations happened to me ALL THE TIME while I was living Buenos Aires. Nowhere else in the world do they make these weirdos. Its one of the reasons I tell women that travel to Buenos Aires to be careful taking taxis. You will have an awkward situation like this one.

Other Awkward & Funny Situations in Argentina:

• Reasons Not To Take Taxis in Argentina
• Crazy Taxi Driver On The Way to Airport
• The Stupendous Argentina Combover
• Blowing in the Wind-Coming Soon
• Sticky Fingers-Coming Soon